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May 11, 2024

Mothering Mindfully

3 ways to be a ‘chill Mum’ – who totally never yells!

Love Brooke @ Liquid Room Studio Support.

 

When I fell pregnant 10 years ago I thought I’d love being a Mum. No work, just the babe and I hanging out together. Then reality hit: mothering is hard and relentless and I returned to part time work after 12 weeks because I needed a day off. I wasn’t the chill Mum I aspired to be and knew I needed to change gears. Fast forward 10 years and another baby later I’m on the other side (mostly). So here’s 3 tools to become the best version of ‘Mum’ you can be.

1. Practise Deep Breathing & Move Your Body: It’s easy for feelings of rage to bubble up inside you at 3am, you’re wide awake pumping milk, so engorged that every breath hurts and then your partner drops the bag on the way to the fridge. Don’t let that rage get the better of you. Inhale deep into the belly, signalling the body to calm, find a pillow – exhale and scream into the void. The next time your teen calls you ‘Bruh’ try moving your body (thus increasing the release of your feel good chemical Endorphin) by thrashing around your living room to Rage Against the Machine “Killing in the Name of” for 5 minutes and notice how much better you feel.

2. Build Body Awareness: Bringing awareness to your body and the space around you allows the brain to activate the parasympathetic nervous system thus decreasing stress hormones and supporting you to regulate the emotional roller coaster of your toddler throwing a tantrum because you accidentally pushed the crosswalk button. One simple daily exercise you can practice is “What do you notice?”. Find stillness and ask, What are five things I notice right now? ‘I can hear Blippi on full ball’. ‘My hands are sticky’. ‘It smells like someone needs a nappy change’. Build this activity into each day and you’ll stay calm through even the most challenging situations such as a poonami in the car seat.

3. Change your Mindset: When life’s challenges start to overwhelm you a simple reframe can empower you to take back control of your narrative. Anytime you feel like negative thoughts are getting you down flip the script. For example; “I’m just an on demand Uber driver!” becomes “I get to travel more and spend time with my teen!”. Or “I have to spend three hours rocking my baby to sleep and now I can’t feel my arms”. Becomes “I get to hold my baby for three hours! Who needs arms!

Let’s be serious, having tools like these in your pocket are a god send, but sometimes, we’re all out here doing our best. I see you – fellow parents – showing up for your kids, breaking cycles and prioritising your own self care too. You’ve got this!